Baby shower etiquette and planning: tips for hosts and guests

Baby shower etiquette is key to creating a celebration that feels thoughtful, joyful, and true to the parents you’re honoring. Whether you’re planning and hosting a shower for a friend or attending as a guest, this guide will help you navigate every detail with grace.

Today’s baby showers are more flexible and inclusive than ever. It’s not about following a long list of rules—it’s about making the parent-to-be feel loved, welcoming their little one, and helping everyone feel comfortable.

From invitations and budgets to virtual shower ideas and common questions, you’ll find helpful tips and ideas here. No matter who you’re celebrating—an expectant mom, adoptive parents, or a growing family—this guide is here to help.

Why baby shower etiquette matters today

A little baby shower etiquette goes a long way—for hosts and guests! It helps avoid any awkward moments, keeps the focus on the new parents, and helps everyone feel welcome and included.

Today’s baby showers reflect all kinds of families, birth plans, and parenting journeys. When you know what to expect, it’s easier to celebrate with ease and confidence.

Who can host a baby shower?

Traditionally, a friend or extended family member would plan the shower to avoid “asking for gifts.” These days, it’s much more flexible. The host can be:

• A friend
• A sibling or parent
• A coworker
• The expectant parents themselves (especially for virtual or casual showers like baby sprinkles or co-ed showers).

Expert tip: If you’re co-hosting, take a few minutes to chat early on about who’s handling what—decor, food, games, budget—so everyone’s on the same page. It makes the planning easier and more fun for everyone.

Baby shower budget: who pays and what to expect

No two baby showers look the same—and they don’t have to cost a lot to feel special. Whether you’re keeping it simple or going all out, having a clear budget helps everyone plan with less stress.

Traditionally, the host would cover the cost of the baby shower. These days, it’s common for co-hosts to split expenses. It’s perfectly fine to share costs among friends, family members, or coworkers—whatever works best for your group.

Typical budgets

• Home shower: $100–$500
• Venue shower (restaurants, event spaces, country clubs): $500–$2,500+
• Virtual shower: often under $100

Budget checklist

• Venue (if needed)
• Decorations and party supplies
• Food and drinks
• Games, activities, or favors
• Gift for the guest of honor (if hosts choose to give one)

Expert tip: Have an open conversation about budget early on. It helps keep everyone organized and makes planning decisions much easier.

When to host a baby shower (and when to plan earlier)

Most baby showers take place about 4–6 weeks before the baby’s due date. This timing helps make sure the mom-to-be is still feeling comfortable and gives guests enough time to shop for gifts.

Sometimes it makes sense to plan a little earlier. You might host the shower sooner if:

• The pregnancy is high-risk
• The family is expecting multiples
• Many guests will be traveling from out of town
• Cultural traditions or birth plans call for an earlier celebration

Sample planning timeline

• 8–10 weeks before the shower: Choose the date, venue, and co-hosts
• 6–8 weeks before: Send invitations
• 4–6 weeks before: Finalize menu, activities, and décor
• 1–2 weeks before: Confirm final headcount and any rentals or orders

Expert tip: If the shower needs to happen earlier than usual, just adjust your planning timeline to match. The most important thing is making the day feel joyful and stress-free for the mom or parents-to-be.

Where to host your baby shower: venues and virtual options

Choosing the right location helps set the tone for your shower, whether you want something cozy and casual or more stylish and festive. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

At home

• Intimate, budget-friendly, and flexible. Perfect for smaller groups (around 10–20 guests).

Bonus: You can personalize the space with meaningful décor and set your own schedule.

Event venues

• Country clubs, restaurants, tea rooms, and community centers are great for larger gatherings (up to 40 or more).
• Many offer event packages that include food, drinks, and even decorations—less for you to coordinate.

Expert tip: Ask about private rooms or semi-private spaces for a more comfortable feel.

Outdoor locations

• Backyard, park pavilion, or botanical garden. This is especially beautiful in spring or summer.
• Be sure to have a backup plan for weather (tents or indoor options).
• Great for family-friendly showers where kids are welcome to play.

Virtual or hybrid showers

• A thoughtful choice for long-distance guests or smaller circles of friends.
• Hybrid showers—where some guests attend in person while others join virtually—are becoming more popular. Just be sure to test your tech ahead of time to help everyone feel included.

Expert tip: As you choose your venue, think about the guest list, budget, and the vibe you want to create. There’s no one “right” place. A shower that feels personal and comfortable for the parent-to-be will always be the perfect choice.

Who to invite to a modern baby shower

The best place to start? The parent-to-be’s wishes. Modern baby showers are more inclusive than ever, with guest lists that reflect each family’s unique circle of loved ones. Your list might include:

• Relatives (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins)
• Friends (from all parts of life—college, neighborhood, book club, etc.)
• Partners and co-parents
• Adoptive parents and chosen family
• Kids (some showers are adults-only, others are family-friendly—just ask the parents what they’d prefer)

More tips:

• If you’re unsure about plus-ones, siblings, or inviting coworkers, check in with the guest of honor for guidance.
• For virtual or hybrid showers, consider widening the circle to include friends and family who live further away. These can be especially meaningful for grandparents, siblings, or close friends who can’t attend in person.
• The most thoughtful guest list is one that makes the parent-to-be feel supported, comfortable, and loved.

How to write baby shower invitations (what to include)

A clear, warm invitation sets the tone for the celebration, and makes it easy for guests to say “Yes!” Here’s what to include in your invites:

Essential invitation details

• Date and time (be sure to include the time zone for virtual showers)
• Location or virtual link
• Name of the honoree(s)
• RSVP details (how and when to reply)
• Baby registry info (shared subtly, usually at the bottom of the invite or on a separate insert for printed invites)
• Dress code or theme if applicable (e.g., garden party, casual brunch, tea party, or “come as you are”)

Extras to consider:

• Parking details (if the venue has specific instructions)
• Accessibility notes (for example, if there are stairs or if the event is stroller-friendly)
• Note about kids, if the shower is adults-only or family-friendly

Sample invitation wording

“Please join us to celebrate [parent(s)-to-be] and their little one! Saturday, June 22, 2–4 pm, at [Venue name and address] or [virtual link]. RSVP by June 8 to [host’s email/phone]. The parents are registered at [store], but your presence is what matters most.”

Expert tip: Match the tone of the invite to the shower—formal, casual, or playful. The goal is to give guests a sense of what to expect.

Baby shower registry etiquette: how to share gift info

Sharing gift information is part of modern shower planning, but it should always feel thoughtful and low-pressure. A few etiquette tips help keep the focus on celebration, not obligation.

General rule: Registry details should come from the hosts, not directly from the parents-to-be. This keeps the tone warm and welcoming, with no sense of “asking” for gifts.

Smart ways to share:

• Include a link to the registry on a separate details page, in an RSVP confirmation email, or on a small insert with printed invitations.
• In your wording, make it clear that gifts are appreciated but never required. A simple line like “Your presence is the greatest gift—should you wish to bring something, the parents are registered at [store].” works well.

Flexibility matters:

• Guests are always welcome to give personal or handmade gifts, even if they’re not on the registry. Books, onesies, keepsakes, or gifts for the parent-to-be (like spa items or a meal service) are great options.

Group gifts:

• For bigger-ticket items (nursery furniture, strollers, monitors), group gifts are a great solution. If guests express interest, the hosts can help coordinate contributions and delivery.

Pro tip: If the parents-to-be have a specific registry goal (like building a home library or stocking up on essentials), the hosts can gently mention this in the invite or in conversation.

What to give at a baby shower (and how to present it)

Wondering what to bring? The best baby shower gifts are both thoughtful and practical. You can’t go wrong with something that helps the parents-to-be feel prepared, supported, or celebrated.

Gift ideas

• Items from the registry (these are often carefully chosen to match the family’s needs)
• Nursery décor or essentials (think: storage baskets, blankets, a diaper caddy)
• Baby clothes in a range of sizes (newborn through 12 months is always appreciated!)
• Keepsake books (classic board books, or even a collection of the parents’ childhood favorites)
• Pampering gifts for the expecting parent (spa sets, cozy robes, meal delivery gift cards)
• General gift cards (great for future needs—Target, Amazon, local baby boutiques)

How to present your gift

• Traditional showers: Bring a wrapped gift with a card. Many hosts set up a designated gift table.
• Display showers: Gifts are brought unwrapped and placed on display with a tag or card. If this is the plan, the hosts should mention it on the invite (e.g., “Please bring your gift unwrapped so the parents can enjoy seeing everything on display!”)
• Virtual showers: Ship gifts ahead of time so the parents can open them during the virtual gathering if they choose, or simply send a sweet note along with your gift.

Expert tip: For second or third showers (sometimes called “sprinkles”), small essentials, sibling gifts, or pampering items for the parents are always welcome—even if there’s no formal registry.

Baby shower menu ideas and etiquette

Food helps set the tone for your baby shower, whether it’s a casual brunch, a cozy tea, or a festive afternoon with friends. A thoughtful, flexible menu makes your event stand out.

Sample menus by time of day

Brunch shower

• Quiches or egg muffins
• Fresh pastries and muffins
• Seasonal fruit platter
• Coffee, tea, juices, and mimosas

Afternoon tea shower

• Tea sandwiches (cucumber, chicken salad, smoked salmon)
• Scones with jam and cream
• Assorted cookies or petits fours
• A variety of teas, plus sparkling water or lemonade

Dessert shower

• Cakes and cupcakes
• Cookie or brownie bar
• Candy buffet or chocolate-dipped fruit
• Coffee, tea, and milk

Cocktail-hour shower

• Small bites (sliders, skewers, flatbreads)
• Charcuterie boards with cheeses, meats, and crackers
• A signature mocktail and sparkling water
• Optional wine or bubbly if the parent-to-be is comfortable with it

Food etiquette tips

• Always offer water and a few non-alcoholic options, no matter the time of day.
• Clearly label dishes, especially for common allergens (nuts, dairy, gluten) or dietary needs (vegetarian, vegan).
• Ask the parent-to-be if they have any food aversions or cravings. It’s a nice touch to include a few of their favorites.
• Keep in mind the flow of the event. For example, plated meals can slow down casual showers, while buffet or grazing tables encourage mingling.

Expert tip: Simple is often better. Choose a few crowd-pleasing dishes that are easy to serve, and focus on presentation. A thoughtful menu doesn’t have to be elaborate to feel special.

Fun baby shower games and activities for guests

A few light activities and games can help break the ice and bring guests together, especially if the group includes friends and family from different circles. Just keep things casual and fun so everyone feels comfortable.

Classic game ideas

• Host a diaper raffle: Guest bring a pack of diapers and enter their raffle ticket into a box to win a prize.
• Baby photo guessing game: Guests bring baby photos, and everyone guesses who’s who.
• Parenting predictions: Have guests write down fun predictions (baby’s birth date, hair color, first word) to share later.
• Baby bingo: Guests mark off gifts or moments during the shower for a fun, interactive twist.
• Memory or advice station: Set up a table where guests can jot down parenting tips, wishes for the baby, or funny memories with the parent-to-be.

For introverts or quieter groups

• Skip high-pressure games like group competitions or performances.
• Instead, offer conversation-friendly stations (e.g., advice jar, “words of wisdom” cards, a keepsake guest book).
• Keep plenty of space for organic conversation. Often, guests enjoy simply chatting and celebrating.

For hybrid or virtual showers

• Choose easy-to-follow games like baby trivia or virtual bingo.
• Use shared slides or free printable games to make participation easier.
• Include plenty of time for casual conversation, not just back-to-back games

Pro tip: Ask the mom-to-be what they would enjoy. Some love playful games, while others prefer a relaxed gathering with good food and great company. The best activities match the vibe of the group and the comfort level of your guest of honor.

Baby shower dress code: what to wear as a guest

Not sure what to wear to a baby shower? Here are a few simple guidelines to help you choose an outfit that feels both comfortable and appropriate.

General dress code tips

Home showers

• Casual or smart casual (e.g., sundresses, nice jeans with a blouse, or a jumpsuit).
• Comfort is key, especially if it’s an outdoor or backyard gathering.

Venue showers

• Business casual to semi-formal, depending on the location (e.g., restaurants, country clubs, tea rooms often lean a little dressier).
• A dress, skirt and blouse, or dressy pants with a nice top work well.

Virtual showers

• Nice but comfortable. A bright top or fun accessory (like earrings or a scarf) looks great on camera.
• Keep in mind that guests may take screenshots for a memory album.

If there’s a theme

• Dress to match. For example, garden party (florals, flowy dresses), pastel tea (soft tones), or storybook (whimsical prints).
• Don’t stress. Simple nods to the theme are always appreciated, but never required.

For hosts

• If you’d like guests to dress for a specific theme or level of formality, mention it clearly on the invitation or details page. A line like, “Garden party attire encouraged—florals welcome!” helps guide guests without adding pressure.

Expert tip: If in doubt, it’s always fine to reach out to the host and ask what’s expected. The goal is for everyone to feel comfortable and able to focus on celebrating the parent-to-be!

How to RSVP to a baby shower (with etiquette in mind)

A thoughtful RSVP helps the host plan food, seating, favors, and more, so it’s an important part of good baby shower etiquette. Here’s how to handle RSVPs:

RSVP by the date requested

• The RSVP date is set for a reason. Hosts need time to finalize the guest count, place catering orders, and prepare any favors or activities.
• Respond as soon as you can even if it’s a “no.” Prompt replies help the host avoid last-minute guesswork.

If your plans change, notify the host as soon as possible

• Life happens! If you need to cancel after RSVPing “yes,” reach out to the host directly. A quick text or email is fine—just aim to give them as much notice as possible.
• If you’re sick on the day of the shower, it’s perfectly polite to bow out (especially with new babies on the way—parents-to-be will appreciate your caution).

Unsure about bringing a guest or kids? Just ask

• If the invitation doesn’t mention plus-ones or children, check with the host before assuming.
• Many showers are adults-only, while others are family-friendly. Asking ahead of time ensures the host can plan accordingly—and helps you avoid any awkward surprises.

Expert tip: Clear communication is key. Hosts genuinely want their guests to feel comfortable reaching out with questions, so don’t hesitate to clarify anything you’re unsure about. The goal is to help everyone enjoy a stress-free, joyful celebration.

How to be a great guest at a virtual baby shower

Virtual baby showers can be just as warm and joyful as in-person ones, with a little thoughtfulness from everyone attending. 

“I attended a virtual shower for my cousin last year, and the hosts sent us tea kits ahead of time. During the shower, we all made our tea together. It felt so thoughtful, even from a distance.”

Here’s how to be a great guest and help make the day special:

Before the shower

• Log in a few minutes early to test your tech (camera, microphone, and internet connection). This helps the event start smoothly and avoids those “Can you hear me?” moments.
• If you’re not familiar with the platform (Zoom, Google Meet, etc.), do a quick test beforehand or ask the host for guidance.

During the shower

• Use your camera if you’re comfortable. It helps create a more connected, social feel, especially for the parent-to-be, who will enjoy seeing everyone’s smiling faces.
• Keep conversation light and positive. Save heavy topics for another time and help set a joyful, supportive tone for the gathering.
• Participate in games and chat. Even simple things like using the chat box to cheer on others or share parenting tips can help bring energy to the event.

Thoughtful extras

• Send a small refreshment kit or gift in advance. A box of tea, mini cupcakes, or a handwritten card arriving before the shower adds a personal touch and makes the virtual experience feel more connected.
• Coordinate with the host if you’d like to contribute something special (a group video, slideshow, or collaborative gift).

Pro tip: Just like in-person showers, the goal is to celebrate the mom-to-be. Being engaged, present, and warm—even through a screen—means more than having the perfect background or outfit. A little effort goes a long way in making the experience feel joyful and connected for everyone.

Baby shower thank-you note tips and timeline

A heartfelt thank-you note lets guests know how much their presence and gifts meant to you. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy—what matters most is that it feels personal and sincere.

When to send

• Send thank-you notes within 2–3 weeks of the shower.
• If life gets busy (which it often does, especially late in pregnancy!), sending them within 1–2 months is perfectly fine. A late thank-you is always better than none at all.

What to include

• A warm greeting and mention of the guest by name.
• A specific thank-you for the gift (or for their presence, if no gift was given).
• A short, personal note of appreciation or excitement about the new baby.

Sample wording

“Thank you so much for the beautiful [gift]! We feel so loved and can’t wait to welcome our little one. Your thoughtfulness means so much to us.”

Examples of how to tailor your note

• For close relatives or family friends: Add a personal memory from the shower or mention how much you loved seeing them.
• For virtual gifts or guests who couldn’t attend: Acknowledge the gift and express how much you missed having them there.
• For group gifts: Thank the group as a whole and mention how much the shared gift will be used and appreciated.

Extra tips

• Keep a simple list of gifts and guests as you open them. This makes writing your notes easier and more organized.
• Handwritten notes are lovely, but digital thank-yous (like an emailed card or personal message) are acceptable too, especially for virtual showers or long-distance guests.
• If you’re short on time, consider writing a few notes each day. It helps keep the task manageable.

Expert tip: If multiple people helped host your shower, be sure to thank them separately for their time, effort, and thoughtfulness with a card, a small gift, or a heartfelt message.

How to share baby shower photos (with etiquette tips)

Photos are such a fun way to capture and relive the joy of a baby shower, but a little baby shower etiquette helps ensure everyone feels comfortable and respected.

Before sharing:

• Always ask the parents-to-be before posting photos publicly. Some parents prefer to keep pregnancy updates and family events private, especially if other kids are in the pictures.
• Share photos privately first. Consider sending a digital album (Google, Dropbox, Shutterfly), or sharing via text or email. This gives the parents a chance to review them and decide what they’d like to post or enjoy privately.

Be mindful of privacy:

• Watch for kids or personal details (addresses, full names, baby bump close-ups) that parents may not want online.
• If you do share photos on social media after getting the green light, avoid tagging others without their permission.
• For group shots, choose wide, joyful photos over close-ups of individual guests, unless you know they’re comfortable with it.

For hosts:

Let guests know in advance if you plan to take photos or video. A simple note in the invitation or a quick announcement at the start of the shower works well:

“We’ll be taking a few photos today to capture the fun—if you’d prefer not to be in group shots, just let us know!”

Consider designating one person to snap candid moments so guests can relax and enjoy the event.

Pro tip: Sharing an album after the shower is a great way to keep the joy going, especially for out-of-town guests or anyone who attended virtually. And for the parents-to-be, it creates a sweet keepsake they’ll treasure forever.

Baby sprinkle etiquette: how to celebrate second and third babies

A baby sprinkle is a smaller, more casual version of a traditional baby shower—perfect for celebrating a second (or third, or fourth!) baby. The vibe is typically relaxed, with a focus on community, support, and helping the growing family with a few thoughtful essentials.

“For my best friend’s second baby, we hosted a casual backyard sprinkle with a brunch buffet. We had bubbles for the kids and a simple advice station for guests. It was relaxed and fun—just what she wanted this time around.”

Why have a sprinkle?

• Families may already have big-ticket items from their first baby, but they’ll still appreciate replenishing everyday essentials.
• It’s also a special way to celebrate the new baby and honor this new chapter for the whole family.
• Sprinkles can feel more informal: a brunch, backyard gathering, or even a playdate with friends and kids.

Gift ideas for a baby sprinkle

• Diapers (in a range of sizes) and wipes
• Onesies and seasonal clothes for the new baby
• Personalized gifts (monogrammed blankets, custom books)
• Nursery updates (new linens, gear that needs replacing)
• Small gifts for older siblings (books, toys, “big sibling” shirts)
• Meals or gift cards for postpartum support

Invite wording

“Join us for a baby sprinkle honoring [parent(s)] and their growing family! Casual brunch and good cheer—gifts optional.”

Extra tips

• Let guests know the vibe of the event: casual, family-friendly, drop-in welcome.
• It’s perfectly fine to say “gifts optional” or “your presence is the gift”—many sprinkles are more about connection than presents.
• If the family prefers no gifts but appreciates meals or support, the host can mention this when guests RSVP.

Expert tip: Involve older siblings if they’re excited. Having them “help” at the sprinkle can make them feel included in celebrating the new baby.

How to honor traditions and culture at a baby shower

One of the most meaningful ways to celebrate a growing family is to honor their unique traditions, values, and cultural background. Modern baby showers are flexible. You can incorporate special elements that reflect what matters most to the parents-to-be.

Start by asking:

• Talk with the parents about how they’d like to celebrate.
• Some families prefer to wait until after the baby is born—hosting a sip and see or post-birth gathering like a baby naming party instead of a pre-birth shower.
• Other families may wish to include specific religious rituals, cultural blessings, or traditional foods as part of the event.

Ways to honor culture and traditions

• Incorporate meaningful décor (colors, flowers, fabrics, or symbols that reflect the family’s heritage).
• Offer bilingual signage, invitations, or favors if multiple languages will be spoken at the shower. This helps everyone feel welcome and included.
• Serve special dishes or treats that reflect the family’s culture or favorite traditions.
• Include a moment of gratitude, blessing, or storytelling if the parents wish. This can be as simple as inviting a grandparent or elder to share words of wisdom.
• If certain customs ask guests not to bring gifts before the baby’s arrival, respect this fully and offer your support in ways that align with the family’s wishes.

Expert tip: Being open-minded and respectful of these preferences is one of the best ways to show care and support for the parents-to-be. If you’re not familiar with certain traditions, it’s perfectly fine to ask thoughtful questions and learn. Most families will appreciate your interest and sensitivity.

Tricky baby shower etiquette questions—answered

How long should a baby shower last?

2–3 hours is ideal.

Do you open gifts at the shower?

Optional—ask the parents. For larger groups, skipping public gift opening can feel more comfortable.

Can I bring my kids?

Ask the host—some showers are adults-only, others welcome families.

How to decline an invite politely?

Send a warm note: “I’m so happy for you and wish I could be there to celebrate! Sending love and good wishes.”

Can you host more than one shower?

Yes. For large families or friend groups, multiple showers are perfectly fine.

Baby shower etiquette FAQs: what every host and guest should know

Can I host my own baby shower?

Yes, especially for virtual or casual events.

Is it OK to host a baby shower after the baby is born?

Absolutely! Many families prefer sip and see events.

Should you send thank-yous if you hosted your own shower?

Yes! A heartfelt note to guests is always appreciated.

What if I can’t afford a registry gift?

A thoughtful card or handmade gift is just as meaningful.

Every baby shower is unique—but when you lead with thoughtfulness, flexibility, and a little etiquette, you’ll help create a celebration that truly honors the parent-to-be and brings loved ones together. Whether you’re hosting or attending, the goal is simple: to shower the growing family with joy and support.

Looking for more ideas to plan the perfect celebration? Explore our other baby shower tips and inspiration to make your event extra special.

Meet the Author
Cristy Posten is a party stylist, entertaining expert, and founder of Pretty My Party, with over a decade of experience helping readers make life’s biggest milestones truly special. She shares creative ideas for parties, holidays, and everyday celebrations — all designed to inspire and make hosting feel fun, beautiful, and stress-free.